I am Rae, and on this life journey I had to deal with death from a personal perspective, a child's perspective, a family members perspective and I am by no means an expert on the subject but I wanted to share what I have learned. Which is literally the premise of this whole blog..Me, being in no position to help you so I just let you know how I am journeying through fixing myself. I'm Rae and I am on the way.
Let's talk about Death. I have known parents who will avoid the subject of death all together, saying that their kids are not ready. Using excuses that fluffy the dog ran away or bubbles the goldfish went to grandma's house. Although I am not going to tell you how to raise your children if you have them, I would like to put the idea out there, that hiding them from the world may not be preparing them for the world. Death will not wait for anyone to be ready before it shows up. Teaching children how to handle life, not avoid it, is something that I think would come in handy. I have come to this conclusion because I encounter adults all the time who cant handle death, even though it is an inevitable part of everyone's life. There are religions who offer insight into what happens after death but dealing with the death itself is also important.
I was speaking to someone this past week and they had recently lost someone close to them. They put off celebrating their birthday so close to the date of the passing of their loved one. But I had another way to look at this situation. I thought wouldn't that loved one want to see them living their life to the fullest. And I know it sounds so cliche but seriously, if it was me who died and I came back to see what my loved ones were doing and I realized that they were all just depressed and stopped eating and showering, etc. I would feel horrible. Of course there is the other side to this as well, the side that deals with the fact that everyone wants to be missed and acknowledging that fact is okay. I think it would be naive to say that if the day after you died, everyone threw a huge party and didn't even mention your name. I think that a fair middle ground of acknowledging the situation and honoring the person along with living your best life. Those things are also not mutually exclusive. You can honor someone's memory by living your best life. Ever get a little teary eyed when the American Idol contestant or Oscar winner mentions a person's name and points to the sky. It gets me every time and they are definitely honoring that person and making them proud.
I will occasionally have weird moments where I myself will think about if I were to die right now, what would happen. Not in an existential way, I actually am pretty content with that, but in an immediate way. I hate pain and can only hope that pain is minimal when my time comes. but a little less morbid and a lot more hopeful is my thoughts on legacy. I wonder what I would leave behind. Had a made a positive impact with the short time I had on earth? Did I get to make the world a little bit better even if it is a small difference. As Lin Manuel Miranda writes in his hit musical Hamilton-
“Legacy. What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.” and that "you have no control. Who lives, who dies, who tells your story." This was super inspiring and the entire shows premise of live like you are running out of time. It is definitely food for thought and I think everyone should figure out or begin the journey to figure out what their mark on this earth will be. Will you be the one who brought joy to someone else? Or will you be the one who invents something to propel us into the future? Whoever you are I am so thankful you are here. I hope I can leave something behind on this journey called life. I am CheRae and I am on the way.
How to talk to children about death
http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/talking_with_young_children_about_death.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLNGUEXuW-w
Hamilton musical
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7882391-legacy-what-is-a-legacy-it-s-planting-seeds-in-a
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamilton_(musical)
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