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February had a lot going on, Valentine’s day, Black history month, and the Rae on the way theme of failure. So first I want to talk about Black history month because I feel a lot of people just don’t get it.
And that’s fine.
Other people get it and completely disagree with it.
That is also fine.
And then there are people like me who love it, look forward to it and can’t wait to share new information and learn new facts for themselves. Wherever you stand on the opinion of the month I wanted to share where I stand.
I consider Black history month a time to acknowledge one part of what makes America what it is today.
With all its trials and tribulations I love America. I think that is something important to say, because I feel we have reached a point in time where if you don't think your nation is perfect, it means you hate your country. That's not true. I like to think of it like a relationship with a sibling; you definitely won't always like them, you’re going to disagree with some of the things they do, they might even break your heart and make you sad sometimes, but ultimately you want to fight for them and see them be the best version of them they can be.
I believe a common thought process when you disagree with someone is that they don't care about you or something that you do care about. I challenge you to consider that whoever is on the opposite end of the spectrum from your beliefs, that they do not hate America or don't care as much as you. Instead, consider they care just as much as you, but have come to a different solution on how to fix it. I think that realization could be a turning point if we start looking at things in that perspective. For example if I said I believe that black history month is a chance to acknowledge one portion of american history and not a time to inflate one race over another, which all the heritage months should be about. It’s good (in my opinion) to sometimes take a microscope and look at all the little pieces that make this American tapestry beautiful.
This may seem like an off the wall topic, but I chose to write about it because in my personal experience I’ve known a couple people to say that they don’t usually pay attention to Black history month because it doesn’t affect them, it’s not about them and/or they don’t see the point of it. I counter those beliefs with the notion that knowing American history is important. So when we have a month to highlight a small portion of American history it matters to us all.
One story I would like to share with you all for black history month is about the 25th bicycle infantry that happened in the Spanish American war of the 19th century. This infantry Battalion was a group of all African-American individuals who were given bicycles to track from Montana to Missouri and they had to go up mountains and cross streams. They had to ride, push or carry a 55 pound bike and this is before gears were invented. The reason they had to do this was to test out a possible alternative form of transportation for the US Army.
I love this story because it shows resilience and is very inspirational. But let’s be fair to the way someone else may interpret this story. If you’re not African-American it is possible to look and say look at what white people put those soldiers through and look at how they didn’t care if they lived or died. This paints white people as the villain in history and I don’t want to be painted as the villain in history. That is a fair assessment, and I agree that no one wants to be demonized. With that said, I challenge you to take a moment and think that maybe it isn't about you. And that sounds horrible and it may sound like I’m coming from my high horse, I want to make sure you know, I as well, am guilty of thinking things are about me. This egocentric point of view is normal, don't worry you are not a bad person but we all should be aware of these tendencies.
An example of me when I was guilty of ego-centrism, is when I was complaining in the car about how people won't let me pass and I realized that when I would go to pass someone, I would get in the next lane over and they would speed up to my speed so I couldn't pass. That really annoyed me because I was confident that the only reason people were speeding up was because they were going slow and felt everyone on the road should be going below the speed limit with them. Then it dawned on me that maybe what they’re doing has absolutely nothing to do with me. Maybe, when I got over into the next lane to pass the other car, they realized that they were going slower than they intended and they were just getting up to their own desired speed and didn't realize that I was trying to get over. Maybe their intention had absolutely nothing to do with keeping me from passing but my egocentric view definitely had me thinking that it was about me.
Now bringing us back on topic, I think that if you look at history and you see that it’s painting you as the bad guy maybe for a moment think that we’re not celebrating the negative, but praising the strength in spite of it. This month shouldn't be about targeting a group of people but honoring the strength of America and American history. And yes sometimes in history America is black. Sometimes in history America has red hair. Sometimes America has blue eyes. Sometimes in history America has slanted eyes. Sometimes in history America eats ravioli and sometimes in history America eats mac & cheese and fried chicken. We can celebrate all of these things that make America what it is, but it’s a lot to cover. So sometimes we break it up into months sometimes we break it up into weeks and sometimes it’s disguised as a US government and civics class in high school but sometimes things get left out, and that’s where we come in. That’s why we carry on our families traditions, we carry on our heritage and teach others. That’s why I love black history month and other cultural months. And I hope if this month offends you think of it as a chance to hear another side of American history, not something distant from you or irrelevant to you. Because that’s how we get from us and them, to loving again.
Speaking of love it was also Valentine’s, a day I use hate, but now I take as an opportunity to be about whatever I love. The hobbies I love, self care, like facials, and Netflix marathons, going to the gym or learning a new skill. Loving yourself should not be the last thing you think about. And again I only say this because I always put myself last. And every self help advocate would say don’t do this. But I find living for others brings me joy. I also found that moderation in everything is key. So I try to remember to take care of myself because pouring from an empty cup is never beneficial. So if you hate Valentine’s Day and think of it more as singles awareness day remember how awesome you are and treat yo self. Even if you're broke, jam to your favorite music, write a letter to yourself, or your future child or a parent. Don’t make Valentine’s Day a depressing thing. Love yourself.
With that said I am taking advantage of an opportunity I had to speak to a therapist. And I know most people associate therapy with something being wrong with me, well I don’t feel like anything is wrong with me, but I do want to take advantage of the opportunity that I was given. I want to destroy this stigma of going to therapists makes you weak or crazy. Youtuber Anna Akana does it and she loves sharing her stories about her therapists advice, and about how the stigma of talking to therapists is unnecessary. In addition, so many celebrities do it just for someone to check in with. And if you can’t afford it, there are online sources making chat services where you talk to therapists super cheap. Links below!
Thank for reading. Tune in the at the beginning and end of the month and I’ll take you along for the ride. I’m Rae and I am on the way.
Bicycle Corps
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_infantry
Anna Akana
https://www.youtube.com/user/AnnaAkana
Chat Therapist website
https://www.talkspace.com/
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